Feeling overwhelmed by political bullsh*t? Us too.
That’s why we are selling Gold-Plated, limited edition, Tru– ok just kidding. We have no magic solutions or bibles or knives or limited-edition coins or rare earth metals to sell you.
There isn’t a quick fix to this political chaos. We just have to start building the world we want.
Let’s start a little smaller. Let’s put down the weight of the future of democracy for a moment and zoom in on our own day-to-day lives.
Seriously, how are you planning to get through this? What will you do to make positive change, as everything feels like it’s going wrong?
Preparing For What You Thought Was Coming
The metaphor I’ve settled on for this moment is “a holiday meal in a snowstorm”.
Imagine, for the sake of this metaphor, that you’re a lousy cook, live in a single-family home, and that all of your friends and neighbors have generic 1-2 syllable first names. Stay with me, here.
And imagine that Ohio has incredibly, notoriously, comically unpredictable winter weather – do what you can to suspend your disbelief.
Now imagine it’s New Year’s Eve. A nice, neutral, nondenominational and widely-applicable winter holiday.
It’s been a doozy of a year but tonight, you’ve got a nice meal with good company to look forward to. All your favorite people are gathering at Steve’s house tonight, like you do every year. It’s a whopping three miles away, so an easy, convenient drive. It’s supposed to snow a couple inches, but that’s nothing out of the ordinary for Ohio in the winter.
There’s going to be tons of tasty food and drinks. You cannot wait to have that mac and cheese that Jen makes every year, as well as the other delicious homemade entrees. For your part, you made the one (1) recipe you can successfully make (rice krispie treats) and are bringing the paper products. Ok so you’re not exactly carrying the team in terms of the food, but people need paper products and everyone loves rice krispie treats. That is a perfectly sufficient contribution to a big potluck meal.
Making Adjustments
But alas, Mother Nature has other plans. Those two inches of predicted snow have turned into a disruptive two feet through the course of the day. In only a matter of hours.
Now, people can’t get out of their driveways. Half of your street doesn’t even have power. Suddenly a three mile drive isn’t just inconvenient, it’s a dealbreaker. You’re snowed in for the night. You text Steve to let him know you’re snowed in.
Your evening has been upended due to factors completely beyond your control. Your lovely New Years Eve dinner has suddenly become a lonely dinner of rice krispie treats and whatever scraps you might be able to find in the cabinet – which won’t be much. A significant downgrade.
So you text your neighbor, Beth. You lament how you’ve only got rice krispie treats for dinner and your power is flickering on and off. She invites you over to eat. “Isn’t this crazy?” she texts, “Come over! I made lasagna. Some other neighbors are coming, too.”
Your stomach grumbles. Lasagna sounds incredible. So you brave the two feet of snow to go next door. It’s a pain. You bring your rice krispie treats and paper products. Just in case.
Contributing What You Can
You arrive at Beth’s and see that other neighbors have come over as well. Leslie brought a big casserole, Joe came in big with a shrimp cocktail, Barb brought her famous scalloped potatoes. Jimmy brought a half-baked turkey that’s now back roasting in the oven. It’s no “Jen’s Mac & Cheese” but this food will do just fine.
Everyone —and I do mean everyone — helped put the meal together. Even your neighbor George, notoriously useless in a crisis, came through with bringing over an unreasonable amount of alcohol. He also brought paper plates, but yours are nicer. Take that, George.
People that Beth trusted with sharp objects helped with the chopping and peeling. Others helped set the table and find chairs or things that could function temporarily as chairs. A couple of the teenagers kept an eye on the kids so their parents could help with other stuff. A few brave souls shoveled people’s driveways and sidewalks so everyone could actually walk home later.
And it was, dare I say, a good time. The handful of neighbors that had manifested their midlife crises through niche kitchen tools showed off their favorite cooking gadgets, even coming up with some friendly, confusing games and competitions to entertain the crowd. A few neighbors dug through their freezers and pantries to offer ingredients they hadn’t originally intended to use that evening, particularly desserts, and now there was some sort of makeshift round of Chopped happening. People maybe even played charades at one point?
Needless to say, the neighbors learned quite a bit about each other’s interests and skills that night.
Resisting Social Isolation
In the midst of an unexpected snowstorm, everyone chose to work through some extra inconvenience, found something to offer that was useful, and figured out a way to enjoy themselves. Each contribution was unique and valuable. Each heartfelt exchange felt healing, considering the pain-in-the-ass afternoon everyone had just experienced. The choice to work together to make the most of a bad situation paid off. Everyone who chose to work together to create a fun night enjoyed the fruits of their labor: a fun night.
Not a single person had the evening that they had hoped and planned for. But collectively, through creativity and teamwork, your neighbors came together to make a beautiful, semi-coherent meal. It wasn’t the meal that any of you had expected to eat tonight, but it was undoubtedly delicious – and a lot better than eating Rice Krispie treats alone on the couch, that’s for sure.
Say it with me now: social isolation breeds fascism. Fascism thrives with the spread of selfishness and struggles with the spread of empathy. Fascism preys on social divisions and weakens in the face of solidarity and community.
Communities only thrive when we are trying to solve problems and coexist, but it can’t survive if we only focus on creating divisions and conquering one another. If we want to beat fascism and salvage democracy, we have to engage with each other with the goal of a mutually beneficial solution, not unlike coming together for a good meal in an unexpected storm.
Toxic individualism may be all the rage amongst podcasters and billionaires, but the rest of us simply cannot afford to retreat from our social contract with each other. The paradox of this moment in history is that we are more frustrated with each other than ever, and also need each other more than ever. We will not overcome a billionaire campaign against democracy unless we all team up. Seriously, people really do not understand how rich these guys are. We’re never going to outspend them, but we can absolutely out-organize them.
Focus on Getting Through the Holiday Meal
Things that were once convenient may become inconvenient. Things we took for granted may disappear. It’s a mess, and being just one person existing within this mess is completely overwhelming, no matter who you are. It’s deeply depressing to feel like you can’t control your own destiny. And unlike the average partisan political back and forth during election season, this feels frustrating in a new way, a way that has little to do with political ideology. It can all leave you paralyzed and at a loss for where to go from here.
Fellow Ohioans, I mean this sincerely when I say, you’re more prepared for this moment than you think. You know how to get through a surprise snowstorm. Pay attention to your immediate surroundings, work with your neighbors, and put your energy towards building community.
Whether it’s shoveling driveways or chopping carrots, be a helper. Help your neighbors. Ask people what they need and then follow through with helping them find it. Offer an extra hand if you have one. Dig through your cabinets just to look for things that others might enjoy. Be generous. Stay connected. Just f*cking try to be helpful to the people around you.
Keep Your Chin Up & Play to Your Strengths
Figure out where you’re most adding value to the situation. Don’t start signing up to do stuff you’re bad at, just to feel busy. No one needs the clumsy person carrying the cake into the dining room. But there’s something you’re good at that lines up with something your community needs. Find that thing, and GO.
There will be plenty of opportunities to mess up, maybe even make things worse. Keep going, even and especially when you f*ck up. Don’t dwell on things that aren’t going your way. Burned the gravy? Oh well. We didn’t really need that to enjoy the potatoes, people can add cheese or sour cream. It’ll be fine. This too shall pass. Keep going.
The spirit of weathering a holiday storm – of finding solutions in real time because the universe had other plans – is the spirit this moment requires. To truly get through these next few years, we are all going to contribute things that we didn’t plan to. We’ll have to quickly and ethically come up with make-shift solutions to novel, complex problems. We’ll have to make the best of some really sh*tty situations.
And we’ll have to keep going, even when it’s really, really tempting to give up.
No one can change the weather, but together, we can come up with creative ways to survive and thrive in the storm.
Essay by Maria Bruno, Executive Director of Ohioans Against Extremism
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